The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I want a musical about memes.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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