I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
