"it" just moved
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
