You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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