You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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