I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
