But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
did i just pee glitter
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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