she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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