hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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