Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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