I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
