addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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