I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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