Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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