my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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