this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
