This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
