His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
