So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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