Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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