Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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