Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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