Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
