Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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