Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
