I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
