Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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