If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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