One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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