and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
