Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
