When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
