I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
