so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
