It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
do herpes really smell.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
