After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
