I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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