If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
