Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
