Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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