My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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