i think i have two assholes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
