with your own penis?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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