i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
