i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
