You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i've created a new STD.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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