Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
