we have officially lost it.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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