I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
