The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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