My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
