laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Found the puke drawer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE