my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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