i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
