His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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