R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
