Can i not drive my cunt home
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
