is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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