normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
