I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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